Summer:
2017
2017
Was a heart palpitation,
A birth in a death;
I am a phoenix.
Late nights,
Early mornings,
Afternoon runs.
The sun is our timeline.
The sunset is our climax.
The moon is our guide.
In the day we adventure.
In the night we create beauty.
At A.C. Moore we bought a large tube of yellow paint
And two ten dollar large canvases.
One is almost complete,
The other was left in the trunk of my car,
It was crushed with the wreckage.
I tried to tell you I was safe,
But you never read it.
You ran miles down the main road
In the pouring rain
At 4 am
To my house.
You always had a car,
We never seemed to use it.
We always liked to walk
To the high school,
Through the center of town,
Down the train tracks.
We lay on the road of the side street and
Sang at the top of our lungs at the playground.
We loved to drive at night,
Listen to that same song over and over.
We stuck our hands out the window
Like wings in the breeze.
I was always the one asking for help,
Asking you to drive.
I trusted you
And that day you trusted me
More than anyone.
Your car was behind me
And I knew you were terrified
And I wanted to be in your world
So I stuck my hand out the window
Flapped it like a wing in the wind
Back at you.
You say this brought you back to life
When all seemed hopeless
You made it home.
You told me the forest was a fairy garden,
You led me through the jungle.
Dipped our feet in the lake
It felt like a plainflight away
It felt like a month in that minute
I think about how long a week feels
I think about how beautiful a day can be
And how long it can take
How fast it can end
How quickly we change
How quickly we forget
I refuse to lose myself
I guess it’s all about those moments
Those late nights
Walking home
Wishing the feeling would never end
Hoping to find something better
There is pain
But if there wasn’t
There wouldn’t be love
There wouldn’t be nights like this
Goodbye 2017
The teacher
The destroyer
The hopeful
The hopeless
The sun
And the moon
I welcome it all
And I say goodbye
The Ocean
I’ve been underwater for so long.
I didn’t know I was drowning.
I just need a second to breathe.
Fall
Kiss Me
Life is simple here.
The road is empty,
People are asleep.
The stars are shining bright
In the darkness
In the fall breeze,
You are my blanket.
2 AM
2 AM,
The world is quiet.
The side roads are empty enough to lay our backs on.
We walk these same street,
So many memories beneath our bones.
We walk to keep moving forward-
To ease the pain.
These roads are never ending,
Built once by hand,
One day,
Long ago,
Paved over-
Forgotten.
We bask in simplicity,
Stepping across
So many years of patience.
Someone made all of this.
We follow without thinking.
I never thought our first kiss
Would be on an empty sidestreet.
We are born from the stars.
The darkness never puts us out,
We just shine brighter.
Winter
Duct Tape and Invisible Scars
My check engine light was on for that whole summer.
The smell of bong rips,
Blunts and joints masked
The smell of burning fuel.
We inhaled poison for too long.
In September, I lost control.
6 months later and I still feel the crash in my bones
– my heart is a scar
Like the wounded duct taped beast
That was my bumper
Clinging on to the poison
Of my engine
As I sped
100 miles on the highway.
When I killed my car,
I let the earth breath for a second.
It’s been 6 months
Since I kissed you.
It’s been 6 months free of this poison,
This exhaust.
She is dead now- crushed somewhere-
Broken
You are but
An empty car in a junkyard
That was once a dream.
You’re just someone
Who was someone.
I forced myself into your world,
I don’t belong there.
Spring
The Antelope and the Jackrabbit
I am on the sandy floor of the hotel room,
Tears a never ending ocean.
My thoughts shark infested waters-
I try to hide-
Paddle through the chaos that is me,
Be the person you push me to be.
I tell you I’m okay when you ask
Because I have to be.
You hold me in your arms as I cry,
An antelope holding a jackrabbit,
We are both prey.
We both know the chase
But you don’t know the hunt,
The ivory of my bones
Set out for trade.
Can I lose a part of myself
And still live?
Can I hide forever
Without breaking?
You say it will get better,
That life is not a gun,
I am.
Life does not hold me,
I hold it.
But sometimes we all need to be held
Don’t we?
I am a butterfly
Some people are still caterpillars,
They may die before they grow wings.
I am a gemstone:
Cut me open and I sparkle.
In the sun I gleam;
I am meant to be seen.
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